Hello one and all!! I know it's been a long while, but I'm finally back. What a long strange break it has been. Where have I been all this time? Well I'm glad you asked. It's a very long story, the short version is that I was in between, the long version goes like this. So there I was , a few days past New Year's. It was pretty late and I was feeling hungry. No one was awake in the house, so I decided to go to the kitchen and grab a snack(I was low on groceries and I'm not proud). Anyway, there I was, standing in the light of the open refrigerator door. I was just about to grab up some cold chicken when I heard a noise, coming from the hallway. I knew it wasn't the dog, he was sitting next to me hoping I'd drop some food. I could see the mom coming out of her room. Shit! I thought to myself, what was I going to do? The only way out of the kitchen is through the dinning room and she was coming towards it. I closed the fridge and went to the doorway to the dinning room. It's one of those large open archway types. I was thinking that in the dark, I could press myself against the arch and she'd pass by and I could make a break for it before she turned on a light. I got myself into position and pressed my back firmly against the wall, then I promptly fell backwards onto my ass! At first I thought I had missed my target and fell into the dinning room. It was pitch black but the dark doesn't bother me. Hello, monster!! I can see just fine in the dark. Well, turns out I was sitting in a small room about the size of a large bathroom. I heard mom walk by and when she turned on the light, I could see a crack of light from where I came through. How did I not know this was here?! When mom had gone back to bed, I slid back out and headed back to my space(I mean under the bed, no one uses "MySpace" anymore, everyone is on Facebook and Twitter). The next day when the house was empty, I had Davy come in so I could show him my new discovery. He was at a loss, he had never noticed it before either. Of course, he never came into the house before I moved in. This new found hidey hole got me to thinking, I wondered if there were more of them through out the house. I mean I know about the place under the couch, I use it for storage. I figured it was a space like my place under the bed. I had always just assumed that it was there because people sleep on it, just like the bed. Davy and I found "betweens" all over the house. Between every room on both sides of the door frames. I brought it up at my next meeting and they all looked at me like I was stupid for not knowing. There's this troll that comes to the group, he moved here from Chicago a few years back. He's a little off I think, likes to think of himself as some sort of monster mafioso. He calls himself Jimmy Two-Horns, is always dressed real nice and even speaks with one of those mobsterish accents. If you ask me, I think he's watched one to many Scorsese flicks. Anyway, he tells me that there are what I call "betweens" all over the place, you just got to look. Says that's why trolls live under bridges, the space there is huge. He said he prefers the bridges in the parks because of all the trees, says there's ways between the trees as well, I decided to try it out as soon as I got home. I got Davy to help me, I showed him what to look for and how to access a space. It turns out that the groups of trees that are in proximity to one another can have multiple ins and outs! Pretty soon we were bouncing in and out all over the yard, I'm sure it must have looked like one of those old Scooby Doo chase scenes where everyone is running in and out of the doors up and down the hallway. I managed to make it across the street to a neighbor's tree. This was great! I could travel around even in the daytime! Davy and I started mapping out routes and pretty soon we had most of the neighborhood done. It was probably the second week of February when it happened. I had just stepped out into the backyard, it was almost morning. As day was breaking when I saw an opening near the house I hadn't seen before. I figured I had time for one more walk before calling it a night. I stepped into the biggest space I had ever seen before. There was nothing here, I mean nothing! It was just an open expanse that had no end in sight. I turned around to go and my entrance was gone! The way out looked just the like the way in, a great big nothing and I was stuck in it with no visible way out! I didn't know what to do, my mind stared racing with all sorts of bad ideas and for the first time in this monster's life I was scared! I was going to be trapped forever in a bland void. Just as that thought had crossed my mind, a light split open just a short distance away from me, unfortunately it closed right as I got to it. That's when I noticed the faint shimmering of "between" opening and closing all around me. I ran to the closest one and poke my head out. It was still night, but that was impossible because the sun was coming up when I got stuck in there and I had only been there for a few minutes. I looked around and had no idea where I was, so I pulled my head back in and the opening closed up in front of me. I started looking out all the ways I could get to, sometimes it was morning and other times it was night. After about twenty or so openings I realized what I had found, I had found the way between day and night! I'm not going to bore you with the details, but all of those opening are like portals all over the world and it took me a long time to find my way back here. Many times I had to climb out and figure out where I was and wait twelve hours for the way to opening back up. I spent most of my time hiding and waiting but sometimes it was a pretty cool adventure. One time I was running towards an opening when a way opened right in front of me and I stumble through and fell on the ground. Turns out I was in the middle of a busy café in Japan. I looked up and people just started screaming KIJU!!! at the top of their lungs, then they all wanted to take pictures with me. Thankfully I was able to jump back in before it closed. Scotland was nice, I met Nessie, or I should say those responsible for Nessie. Sorry folks, there is no such thing as the Lock Ness Monster. It's just a bunch of water sprites who like screwing with tourists. I had such a blast on Easter Island that I stayed for three days. Let me just say, for a bunch of guys that are nothing more than giant heads buried up to their necks, them boys know how to party! At least I think they do, I'm having a rough time recalling that section of my memory! So after several exhausting months, I was finally close enough to walk home. I still can't believe I was gone for almost eight months! It was just about midnight when I finally made it home. Davy was there tending the bushes on the side of the house. He looked at me in shock, apparently everybody thought I had ran off or died. I told him everything that had happened and where I had been all this time. He thought getting lost for a time would be awesome fun. I had to agree, at times it was pretty fun. We talked for a time about my adventures and my new discovery, Davy asked what about space and time? I'm pretty sure there's probably a "between" when it comes to time, but since it took me almost a year to get home from the last one, I think I'll leave the time travel stuff to the Star Trek. I asked how things had been while I was gone. He told me that Bri had come by a few days after I had vanished. She had kept coming by pretty regular for the first couple of months, he said her visits became less and less and she finally stopped coming at all. He said he hadn't seen her in about three months. He also told me that since I had been gone, the mom had moved herself a boyfriend into the house. He said the mom have been working longer hours and the guy had been watching the kid. Davy said he didn't like this guy, says he's a tool. He said he was done talking about him, but he did mumble something about wishing I ate grown ups. It was late and I was tired so I went on into the house. The smell hit me in the face like a bowling ball cracking a strike on the head pin. It was a familiar scent that I've tried for almost two years to avoid. The sweet, mouth watering, stomach rumbling aroma of spoiled rotten child, well almost. There was something a little off about it, almost like the smell that milk has the day after its expiration date. You know, it smells like it could be drinkable but just maybe not. Where was this smell coming from? I walk to the kids room, he smelled exactly the same as when I left. His room seemed even more clean, if that was even possible. I followed it through the house, sniffing at the air almost with an addict's delight. The smell at the mom's room was pretty strong, but it wasn't the source. It was coming from the living room. I could see shadows from the flickering light of the infomercials playing on the television. There was a foot sticking out from over the edge of the couch. As I approached, the foot twitched and me it made me stop. A thundering grunt of a snore come from its direction and I knew it was asleep. Well I guess this must be the new boyfriend, I was thinking it might be good for the kid to have a father type figure around since he didn't see his that often. I stood over this man and realized the odor was coming from him. I looked around the living room, there were numerous empty beer cans on the coffee table. He was obviously passed out drunk. I poked him in the forehead, he twitched and snored some more. Judging from the smell of him, he definitely was a dick of some sort. The things that children do, the behavior and mess that triggers the scent that attracts my kind, well it usually goes away as they grow. This is why you don't hear of people going around talking about the boogey man and such. Children loss the scent because they usually grow up and become decent adults. While it is very uncommon, but not all together unheard of for adults to give off the scent. It's not really appetizing to me nor is it all together appalling either. Sure I could eat this guy, but I don't have to struggle to push the feeling aside. What causes this rare occurrence is as simple as this, sometimes shitty kids grow up to be shitty adults and I'm fairly certain that's what I've got here. I left the dude on the couch and went to my place. As soon as I was inside I saw an envelope on the table waiting for me. In my absence, Bri had moved to Russia, said she had family there and since I wasn't coming back there was no reason for her to stay. I tried her number, it went straight to voice mail. I had left my phone in the house because I hadn't planned on being lost for eight months. There were 47 voice mails from Bri along with over 300 missed calls. Well hopefully one day I can make it up to her. I decided some sleep would be a welcomed comfort and I got in bed and passed out! I was woken up a few hours later by sobbing and yelling. I went to my living room and looked out so I could see out from under the bed. I could see the kid sitting on the floor, he was the one who was crying and I could see the bare feet of the Couch Dick. He was standing over the kid, he told him to stop crying and go clean up the mess in the living room or he was going to give the kid something to cry about. He yanked my kid up by the arm and shoved him out the bedroom door. So not only was this guy a shitty kid all grown up, he was an abusive one as well. Nobody hurts my kid! This didn't sit well with me and it took every fiber of my being not to come screaming out there and devour that douche right then and there. What kept me from doing it was the kid, how would he handle seeing that mess. He'd be worse off than Scotty. I could just scare him off, I know I can. I did it with the grandparents and the bully, I could do it to him as well, but I really want to extract some serious bodily harm on this asshole. Do you think I'd loose my chip for eating him? After all, he not a child. I'll have to ask at the next meeting, maybe there's a loophole. Either way, by the time of my next post, we'll be down one house guest, I guarantee it! I'm sorry again for being gone so long, hopefully it won't happen again, at least for awhile
Peace, love and dust bunnies!
Rodney
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