Unfinished Business and Other Follies

So, where to begin? I don't even know were to start. As you know the Kid has been having a tough time at school with the Junior Criminal Association. So a couple of nights ago I went down to his school to see if I could find out any useful information that might lead to an end of the harassment. After talking to a couple of bogies, I found out the leader of the group was a twelve year old named O'Brien. From what I hear he's been held back a year, he way more dumb that a person should be and is big enough to pass for a teacher. Well my two new acquaintances kindly gave me directions to his house. After that I went home to make plans, to figure out what it was I was going to do. Since I don't move around much in the day time, I sent a new friend of mine to recon the area around his house. His name is David, he's a gnome, a Gardner gnome to be exact. No, he not the David the Gnome. Yes he is short, but he doesn't have a fluffy white beard and a tall red hat. He looks more like a two foot tall version of "The Green Man" if you know what that is. He looks like a tiny pile of lawn clippings and he can hide very well. While he was gone gathering intel, I decided that the best way to stop this nonsense was to do what I do best! No, I'm not going to eat him, I'm gonna scare the bejezzis out of him. When I'm done scaring him he's gonna  feel the empty hole where is bejezzis used to be. Even if he doesn't know what a bejezzis is, he's gonna know its gone! Well Dave came back and gave me the lay of the land, told me the best way to get in and where I'd find him. I thanked Dave and headed out the door, as I was leaving he told me to be careful, that the family was Irish. I thought OK, whatever, and thanked him again and left. I mean who cares where their family is from right? What does that have to do with anything? Little did I know. I got there right after dark and sneaked my way into his room and under his bed and waited. The place was a mess, garbage every where. The place had a smell to it, it was ripe, by that I mean tantalizing and delicious. My mouth started watering and my stomach was rumbling. This was the room of a child so nasty and vile that I could live off the fumes he left behind. How was there no bed monster living here, this kid should have been devoured years ago from the smell of him. I just couldn't believe it. I laid in wait under the bed when around 10:00 pm he finally came to bed. I gave it until just after midnight to start, wanted to make sure he was good and asleep. He had one of those metal frame beds, so I started to drag my nails down the legs. He started to move at the long scraping sounds I was making. I dragged myself out making little noises here and there and I moved about the room. I could see he curled up under his blanket, scared but not real sure why or of what. I crept closer to the bed and the intoxicating aroma hit me square in the face. I was suddenly aware that I long pointed teeth, a mouth full of saliva and a hunger that needed to be filled. I leaned in close and drew a deep breath in through my nose, oh it had been so long, chip or not this brat needed to be ate. I couldn't help myself, my basic instincts had me now, I was on autopilot. I had my hands out stretched, about to grab him when I heard it. It was a scream so loud I almost wet myself! At first I though it was him then I realized it was coming from behind me. I whirled around to see this thin, pale, almost see through, lady floating behind me. She was dressed all in white, her gown flowed all around here. Her mouth just hung open and her screams seemed to be coming from all direction. Really she looked like she was drowning in mid air. I didn't know what to do, I freaked! She was going to wake up the whole house with that nonsense, so I lunged for her. Just as I tackled her out of the air, that's when the  closet door burst open with a loud bang. Seriously doesn't anyone care if there are people trying to sleep in this house? Four little guys came running out, I couldn't make out really what they looked like except that all of them were wearing littler collector's edition football helmets and were carrying what looked like weapons. They descended upon me and began beating me with what I figured out were golf clubs. I was rolling around on the floor trying to restrain this chic all while getting bludgeoned by sporting equipment. I knocked over a book shelf trying to kick one of them. I managed to clasp my hand over the lady's mouth and got to my feet. The little guys were clubbing at my shins so I booted one of them back into the closet and the other three back up to regroup. I turned towards my intended target. He was backed into the corner of his bed peering out of his covers. He was shaking bad and I could smell a little more that pee building up in his jammies. I leaned over him, grabbed the woman by both shoulders, of course she started wailing again. I open my mouth and shoved her in head first! I think she was still screaming, it was hard to tell cause once she was in up to her waist it started to get all muffled. She tickled going down and didn't taste to bad either, like a combination of spider webs and cotton candy. If I had to label it, I'd have to say this is definitely what gossamer tastes like. Because of my long neck and jaw muscles I have the ability to swallow things whole, very python looking, and she went down quick and smooth. Little did this punk know that this little act just saved his life cause I was now back to myself and remembered why I was there. I was just about put the final scare into him when something jumped on my back. The little monsters were on the attack, one of them clinging onto my shoulder. It sank its teeth into my neck and I screamed, I screamed loud. You'd have thought that the lady was climbing back out it was so loud! The one from the closet was back and was trying to stick me in the leg with the fork from a camping knife. With one hand I yanked the one off of my back and grab the little forker off the floor with the other. I smashed them together as hard as I could. They came together with a loud plastic on plastic smacking noise then they stopped moving. I actually managed to crack the helmet on the forker. The two on the floor froze and just blinked at me with their little golden eyes from under their headgear. I finally turned back and sunk my nails into the wall above my original target and leaned in close. Quietly but with the emphasis only a monster could put on a word I said "STOP BULLYING MY KID OR I'LL BE BACK!" He whimpered and nodded slightly and with that I walk over to his window, slid it open and disappeared outside. When I got home I found David waiting in the front yard for me and he asked me how it went. I retold my entire story for him and he just started laughing at me. When I asked him why he hadn't informed me of the other creatures living there. He said he had, he warned me they were an Irish family. So now I know what that means. Apparently the Irish have their own monsters and whatnot's that live with and watch over them. I found out that the lady was a Banshee, she appears when someone in her family is about to die and cries for them, very loudly I might add. The little guys were Pooka's, little trickster things that like messing with humans but very territorial. David says the Irish guys are pretty tough so he figures I just knocked the two out and didn't do any real harm. Says I should probably watch out for awhile though, they hold grudges pretty good. He also said that since the Banshee is more of a spirit than anything else she'll probably reform after all her parts are available. You know when she's officially left the building if you know what I'm saying. You'll be happy to know that the Kid has a hassle free time at school since my little adventure, of course O'Brien hasn't been back and from what I hear his folks are taking him to a therapist. Well I've got a meeting tonight and since I didn't eat any children(don't think Banshees count) I should be on track for my one month chip. Wish me luck and I'll try to update after the meeting to let you know how it went.

Making Amends

While I was sitting here waiting for information on the animals that have been terrorizing the kid, I got to thinking about my recovery and if I'm doing enough. I thought about the last child I didn't eat besides the kid. Man did I make life difficult for him, no matter what he did or who he told, no one ever believed him. I would wait for the night to get all still and calm. I would slither out from under the bed making small quiet noises to let him know I was there, maybe. I would always find him curled up in a bundle under his sheets and blankets holding his tiny plastic flashlight in a death grip, His parents told him he was to old for a nightlight. I would stretch out over him so the shadows on the underside of his covers would make me seem even longer than I was. I'd drag my fingers across the covers, lightly touching him. I knew I had him when I heard the shallow breathing and the light sobbing, then I'd draw back and wait. The room would be dead silent, slowly the layers on the bed would start to peel back with him trying to get a glimpse to see if I was gone. As soon as I could see his eyes I would lunge! The room filled with the joyous, faint smell of a job well done. Of course it would always leak through to under the bed(one of the reasons I decided to move you know weak bladders and poor ceilings) After awhile I got to feeling bad about it, day after day of this poor kid just crying all the time. He was all jumpy and twitchy, I had to stop. I didn't like what I was doing to him, to them or myself. That's not what I am anymore, he was the one that made me want to be a better monster. Well that one AA meeting I went to said you're suppose to apologize to the ones you did wrong and I figure there are just to many parents out there you know to knock on their doors. Besides I've been doing this for quite sometime now, I wouldn't even know where to begin. I do know of one place though. You see, I've keeping tabs on him for sometime now and I know where he lives, so I decided to pay him a visit. He didn't live that far away, so I borrowed a bicycle and road off. When I got to the front of his house I noticed that all of his lights were on, I mean all of them. To every other house on the block it was three in the morning, but there it looked like high noon. He had those little solar lights lined up both sides of the drive way. The front porch light looked bright enough to summon Batman all the way from Gotham. I made my way into the house as quiet as I could, yes the door was locked and yes I got in with out a key(not going to give away all of our secrets, sorry). It was just as bright on the inside as it was on the outside. Every lamp, fixture or illumination you could think of was here and on. There was no where for me to hide, no shadows, not one single dark spot, man I must have really done a number on this kid. Well I made my way down the hall and finally found the bedroom and him. I opened the door slowly only to find that this room had the most lights, now being that I spend most of my time in the dark and under things, a lot of bright light does tend to play hell on my eyes. I almost missed the string of cans that were tied across the bottom of the door way. They jingle a little bit but not loud enough to wake him. I walked up to the bed and looked at him, that was sure enough him, curled up in a little ball with tiny plastic flashlight in hand. His bed made me smile. It was regular queen size bed with a headboard that had a bookcase type thing built into it. Of course this was lined with light sources and absolutely no books. The amusing thing about the bed is that he had cut the legs off of it so it would sit flat on the floor. There was no way you were getting anything under it, or coming out from under it(I'm guessing that was the point). There was a small computer desk on the other side of the room. I made my way over and saw that it was still on, so I sat down. I pulled of Word and started to type.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for the torment I put you through all those years ago, I'm sorry for the sleepless nights, I'm sorry for any trouble I have brought you over the years. I'll have you know that because of you I have resigned myself to trying to live better, be better. The child I'm with now I've vowed to take care of and make sure no harm comes to him. You can live your life with out the fear of anything harming you from the dark ever again, I'll make sure of it.

I truly am sorry,
Rodney

With that I unfolded a piece of paper that I've been saving for years. I would take it out from time to time to remind myself where I came from and what I once was. It was a crayon drawing of me that he had made so many years ago. I left that on the keyboard. As I made my way out the door I heard his shallow breathing accompanied by that familiar smell. I couldn't help but smile again, that's my Scotty.

Feeling Creative

A Monster Haiku by Rodney

I live under beds,

I used to eat your children,

I am now reformed.

Real Monsters

While enjoying a nice afternoon nap, I was awaken from sleep by the sounds of soft sobbing coming from over head. The kid was obviously upset from something, my interest was peaked so I decided to eavesdrop on him and his mother. After a bit of listening it became apparent that this kid has a problem much bigger than a child eating monster living under his bed. The poor kid has a bully, man I hate bullies. I know it comes off a little hypocritical sounding coming from someone who devours children in there sleep, but there's a big difference here. I ate children because that's what we do, it's no different that you getting angry at a lion for eating an antelope while you're chowing down on a cheeseburger(they're made from cows you know). Bullies are nasty, vile creatures that prey on those that they think are weaker or somehow inferior to themselves and they don't do it out of necessity, they do it because they can. As I listened more it turns out that there's a group of four of the little bastards picking on the kid. They've been doing it for sometime now, before I moved in it seems. The kid ended up with a split lip and a black eye because he tried to stand up for himself, four to one with no back up? The kid's got brass, I'll give him that, but the only thing that accomplished was proving he could take a beating. That just makes me angry, not only are they bullies, they also cowards. Well, I'm just gonna have to see if there's anything I can do. I really like this kid, he's super cool. I don't know why anyone would want to pick on him. Scratch that, he's a bit of a loner. I haven't seen one single friend come over here since I moved in. He's a geek, tons of comics and action figures and sci/fi stuff(I'm a geek myself so I'm cool with it). Lastly, he's pretty scrawny, even for one of you guys. He's thin and frail, don't get me wrong, he's not sucking an inhaler and taping his glasses in the middle. I don't even think he wears glasses. Still, that's no reason to screw with him! I guess I'm gonna have to go down to that school tonight and do some detective work. Ask the locals if they've seen anything, find out where these A-holes live. Oh, I don't mean go and chat up the other children, if I was going to do that I mightiest well just walk him to school and eat those punks in front of their parents as they drop them off... No I can't do that, I want my one month chip! No I'm gonna talk to my people that live at the school. There's all sorts of us there, I'm sure someone saw or knows something. There's the brownies that live in the library. They eat the glue in the book bindings and are always rearranging everything. That's why you always have trouble finding anything in there. The gremlins that hang out in the janitors closet, they're always destroying things. They'll find the weak spot in a chair and remove something so that when you sit down you're fine, but if you move the whole thing falls apart. Those guys are a hoot! There's all sorts of imps and trolls and everything in between living at a school if its big enough. Anyway, I'm gonna go down there and get the dirt on them and see what I can do to make it stop. Nobody messes with my kid!!