Making Amends

While I was sitting here waiting for information on the animals that have been terrorizing the kid, I got to thinking about my recovery and if I'm doing enough. I thought about the last child I didn't eat besides the kid. Man did I make life difficult for him, no matter what he did or who he told, no one ever believed him. I would wait for the night to get all still and calm. I would slither out from under the bed making small quiet noises to let him know I was there, maybe. I would always find him curled up in a bundle under his sheets and blankets holding his tiny plastic flashlight in a death grip, His parents told him he was to old for a nightlight. I would stretch out over him so the shadows on the underside of his covers would make me seem even longer than I was. I'd drag my fingers across the covers, lightly touching him. I knew I had him when I heard the shallow breathing and the light sobbing, then I'd draw back and wait. The room would be dead silent, slowly the layers on the bed would start to peel back with him trying to get a glimpse to see if I was gone. As soon as I could see his eyes I would lunge! The room filled with the joyous, faint smell of a job well done. Of course it would always leak through to under the bed(one of the reasons I decided to move you know weak bladders and poor ceilings) After awhile I got to feeling bad about it, day after day of this poor kid just crying all the time. He was all jumpy and twitchy, I had to stop. I didn't like what I was doing to him, to them or myself. That's not what I am anymore, he was the one that made me want to be a better monster. Well that one AA meeting I went to said you're suppose to apologize to the ones you did wrong and I figure there are just to many parents out there you know to knock on their doors. Besides I've been doing this for quite sometime now, I wouldn't even know where to begin. I do know of one place though. You see, I've keeping tabs on him for sometime now and I know where he lives, so I decided to pay him a visit. He didn't live that far away, so I borrowed a bicycle and road off. When I got to the front of his house I noticed that all of his lights were on, I mean all of them. To every other house on the block it was three in the morning, but there it looked like high noon. He had those little solar lights lined up both sides of the drive way. The front porch light looked bright enough to summon Batman all the way from Gotham. I made my way into the house as quiet as I could, yes the door was locked and yes I got in with out a key(not going to give away all of our secrets, sorry). It was just as bright on the inside as it was on the outside. Every lamp, fixture or illumination you could think of was here and on. There was no where for me to hide, no shadows, not one single dark spot, man I must have really done a number on this kid. Well I made my way down the hall and finally found the bedroom and him. I opened the door slowly only to find that this room had the most lights, now being that I spend most of my time in the dark and under things, a lot of bright light does tend to play hell on my eyes. I almost missed the string of cans that were tied across the bottom of the door way. They jingle a little bit but not loud enough to wake him. I walked up to the bed and looked at him, that was sure enough him, curled up in a little ball with tiny plastic flashlight in hand. His bed made me smile. It was regular queen size bed with a headboard that had a bookcase type thing built into it. Of course this was lined with light sources and absolutely no books. The amusing thing about the bed is that he had cut the legs off of it so it would sit flat on the floor. There was no way you were getting anything under it, or coming out from under it(I'm guessing that was the point). There was a small computer desk on the other side of the room. I made my way over and saw that it was still on, so I sat down. I pulled of Word and started to type.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for the torment I put you through all those years ago, I'm sorry for the sleepless nights, I'm sorry for any trouble I have brought you over the years. I'll have you know that because of you I have resigned myself to trying to live better, be better. The child I'm with now I've vowed to take care of and make sure no harm comes to him. You can live your life with out the fear of anything harming you from the dark ever again, I'll make sure of it.

I truly am sorry,
Rodney

With that I unfolded a piece of paper that I've been saving for years. I would take it out from time to time to remind myself where I came from and what I once was. It was a crayon drawing of me that he had made so many years ago. I left that on the keyboard. As I made my way out the door I heard his shallow breathing accompanied by that familiar smell. I couldn't help but smile again, that's my Scotty.