Fun Times!

So, this past week was pretty much falling into the suck column. That is until yesterday, some friends talked me into going out yesterday afternoon. I know what you're thinking, how was I suppose to managed that in the middle of the day with all you humans scampering about. I asked the very same question. Turns out there was a "Horror Convention" in town, Splattercon 2014 all things horror! Booths, Panels with guest speakers, all the memorabilia you can imagine. Best of all, costumes. Why had I not thought about this before? Every single one of these conventions, whether it be horror, comic book, or whatever, they have tons of people dressed up in the most ridiculous of costumes! I figured no problem, we can do this. I was a little apprehensive about it when we first got to the place, but no one batted any eye as we walked in. Everyone just assumed we were cosplayers. Lets face it, you're average geek isn't going to be able to manufacture anything that looks as remarkable as me. There was three of us, and my two friends are pretty much normal height to you people. Me on the other had I'm not quite eight feet tall, I don't look that tall because I slouch and hunch my shoulders. Walking around was a bit awkward, I'm pretty light on my feet and I can move quickly and smoothly. We didn't want to give ourselves away so we had to exaggerate our movements and move around clumsily to it looked like we were wearing rubber suits, me especially. You see, I have really long arms and fingers and I had to make it look as those they were fake. In fact I could only use one of them, I had to leave my other arm dangling at my side. Because of my height I thought it best to make them think my head was a puppet, kind of like Big Bird. Sorry if I spoiled that for anyone, but Big Bird works on the same principal I was going for. Giant suit over small person, one hand working an arm and the other raised high above his head, working the eyes and mouth of the oversize puppet he was in. We had a great time, people totally bought it. All day people would ask me what I used me make such a monstrosity, mostly I'd answer with something like foam latex and fun fur. Occasionally I bellow "WITH TEARS OF THE WICKED AND SOULS OF THE DAMNED!!!" I usually got a lot of laughs, oh and the pictures, everybody wanted their pictures taken with me. I'm sorry for their efforts, but we can't be photographed. Just like Bigfoot and Nessie, every time you try to capture one of us on film it comes out all over exposed and blurry. I know its weird, but we don't know why that happens either, just does.  Like I said, we had a great time and towards the end of the day there was a big costume contest. My friends talked me into entering, I figured I was a shoo in for the win right? Wrong! I took fifth place, really ?!? I came in behind Pin-Head, Cousin It, some chick dressed like Vampirella(ok she was hot, I'll let that one slide) and the winner was the Invisible Man, yep, I was beaten by some ass in a trench coat and fedora wearing sunglasses and an ace bandage wrapped around his head. Pitiful! One of the judges, suppose to be some famous movie monster guy, Jones something or other, I don't know, I've never heard of him. Anyway, he said I didn't look realistic enough, he could see the edges around my neck and I came off as campy. That guy wouldn't know what a real monster looked like if one bit him on the ass, and believe me I could have that arranged.