Hey folks, Rodney here. I know its been four long months since I've updated everybody on my progress so far. Let me just go ahead and recap for those of you just getting on board the train ride that is my life. So, I'm a child eating monster that has given up eating children. I want to be more than what I'm suppose to be. Much like anyone with addiction problems, I've been attending monthly meetings. I live under the bed of a super nice kid that is super clean and nice, you know everything that us monsters find repulsive, and all was going good until I decided to throw a party. That's when the shit hit the fan so to speak. I mean no one actually threw shit in the fan, we may be monsters but most of us are pretty civilized thank you. Anyway, after my party I was stuck with a small problem of some naiads refusing to give up claim on my pool. Thankfully a new lady just happened into my life, her name is Bronya, but everyone calls her Bri, also she's a Rusalka. For those of you who don't know what that is, she's kind like a Russian mermaid/ water demon I think. Anyway, she has the ability to pollute any body of water in which she swims and she had agreed to help me get rid of my little problem. The problem being that Davy's naiad girlfriend and her two sisters wouldn't let anyone use the pool with out paying tribute. I only had three days before the kid and his mom got back from their summer vacations. Well with Bri's help, we put a plan into action. I was able to score some drachmas from my friend Lukas. He own a little Greek diner in town. He's a Cyclops, but you wouldn't know it from looking at him. Turns out that he's only part Cyclops, some long lost ancestor or something made it with one a long way back. So it turns out that every now and then someone in his family inherits the abilities. He's super strong and was born with only one eye, fortunately for him because he's part human, the one eye settled on the right side of his face and not dead center. So he wears a patch over the left side and no one is the wisest. Man does he make the best gyros and spinach pies. Anyhow, he gave enough drachmas for two and I met with Cyrena and paid up. Bri and I got into the pool and weren't in for even a minute and this film started to form over the top of the water. Within an hour, the whole thing looked like a fish tank that the filter had gone bad on, like a year ago. Cyrena and her sisters came over immediately and tried to throw us out, I reminded them that we had paid our tribute and they neglected to set a time limit. They were stuck, if they tried to force us out, it would look bad on them, which meant that now I had them. I offered to make them a deal, they fixed the pool back and give it up and I would help find them each they're very own water holes. They reluctantly agreed and fixed everything up. The whole house was back to normal when everyone got home, I hate to say it, I kind of missed them, even the dog. I'm pretty sure its part horse cause it must have grown double its size since it's been gone. So, the relocation of the naiads when pretty well. Cyrena was placed with the bird bath in the front yard so she could spend time with Davy. One of her sisters took the fish tank at the library, it's one of those giant fresh water tanks big enough for a couple of people to scuba dive in. Lastly the final sister was set up at the giant fountain at the park, people come by and throw money in all the time so tribute is no longer an issues. Four months later and things have seem to have settled down. The family had Thanksgiving dinner last week, Dad and his new girlfriend showed up. From the smell of both of them, I'm pretty sure I would have loved to have met them when they were children. The grandparents also came for dinner, they ate and left as quickly as possible. They seemed pretty paranoid, looking around everywhere, expecting something to happen. It was pretty funny. A bunch of us went down to Lukas's after it got dark and had a little get together for the holiday. The man is a pretty good cook, I must admit. I met up with Bri there, we've been hanging out a lot since the pool fiasco. I know what you're thinking, what about Abigail? Well we're not really together anymore, she broke it off with me. She actually told me she needed a relationship with more substance. The Banshee, the chic that you can see through, the lady who can float through walls needs more substance. I'm just going to leave it at that, cause she didn't find the irony nearly as funny as I did, of course I probably shouldn't have laughed about it for twenty whole minutes while she tried to be serious. So anyway, yea, we're through. Bri and I are just good friends right now, nothing more serious than that. So, that's where I'm at right now, almost a year since I started this blog. Only one, almost two slip ups, I'm doing good, not even having cravings anymore. A lot of it has to do with this new product I found called "Youfu" it's two parts tofu and one part ballistics gel and its flavored to mimic human flesh. I was eating that when ever I got the urge, much like nicotine gum for smokers. I final got rid of that as well, you to be totally free of human flesh. So I doing great, looking forward to the new year and to see what that brings. Yep good times indeed!
Oh, I almost forgot!! Scotty! The aftermath of him showing up at my meeting! Well, I had decided to skip the next meeting because I just didn't need that hassle in my life at the moment. I mean come on, seriously, he just show's up out of the blue at a monster packed meeting! That would be enough to send any sane person over the edge. Unfortunately, Scotty's not really sane, not anymore anyways. After the meeting he decided to quit taking his medicine and I guess some of that stuff you can't just stop cold turkey. His doctor had the police come by for one of those safety checks after he called his office and told him his services were no longer required that he had been completely normal this whole time and now he was finally justified. Well the police had to chase him four city blocks and I'm not sure if this is true or not, but he may or may not have been naked. Pretty sad affair all around. Well he had his hearing and has be remanded to Our Sister of Healing Psychiatric Hospital for no less than six months. It's ok though, there's a couple of my kind that live there. They says he's doing well and adjusting to his new place. He's only had to be restrained twice! Me and some of the guys from the meeting are going to sneak up there next weekend after hours to visit him, maybe bring him a care package. I feel kinda bad about his predicament. He is a pretty nice kid after all.
Anywho, until next time folks!! Peace, Love, and Dust Bunnies!
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