Leaving So Soon?

Well I'm happy to report that the Grandparents have left the building! They left unexpectedly yesterday afternoon. Grandpa said that the next time they come that they were going to stay in a hotel, said they have never felt more uncomfortable sleeping in a room before. Grandma wouldn't even talk about it.(Giggles!!) Ok, I admit it, I might have had something to do with it or possibly everything to do with it! Ever since my last post I have been sleeping under the couch. It's very cramped under there and doesn't leave any room for me to stretch out, but I made do. Anything beats sleeping under those two flabby medieval gas bags. I swear, if I hadn't promised to stop eating children, I would have eating those two just to be rid of them. They are truly deplorable! Always pushing the kid around, making him and his mom clean up after them. I don't understand why they put up with it really. Anyway, while I was perfecting my contortionist routine in my temporary living quarters I devised a plan to get ride of the my aging albatrosses. First I brought David in, had him recruit some of his buddies. At first the plan was to just scare the crap out of them, but I figured that wasn't going to work with these two. They're old, they don't see or hear as well anymore so the normal jumping out of the closet booga booga stuff wasn't going to work. What did work was driving them insane! At first it started out subtle. David and his friends are so small that they can move about during the day without being seen. I just had them start by hiding stuff, like their glasses, dentures, the remote, little stuff like that for a couple of days. Then at night, I would sneak into the room to bang and bump things around while they'd try to sleep. My favorite was just when I'd hear the old man start to snore, I would jerk the bed and they would startle awake. The next couple of days rather than hiding stuff, we would just move stuff. Grandma made a pot of tea and every time she'd turn around one of us would move her glass to the other side of the table. We'd take food off of there TV trays and then put it back after they talked themselves into believing they must have eaten it. I got a universal remote and set it for the living room TV, while they were trying to watch their daily shows I would change the channels or turn the cable box off. The straw that broke the camel's back along with almost breaking Grandma's was when David climbed up on the back of her chair and started waving at the dog. Well I already told you how the dog reacts to him. As soon as he saw David, he took off like a bolt across the living room, jumped up on the coffee table knocking everything off. He launched himself into the air. At this point Grandma started screaming! It sounded like a mix between a dog whistle and a tea kettle steaming. The puppy landed about chest level with a solid thud, the went flying back and Grandma's legs went up into the air and then all three of them went down, Grandma, puppy and chair. David ran out threw the kitchen and the dog was right after him, not before trampling on her old self for a few more seconds. By the time the kid's mom got home they were already packed and had a cab waiting to take them back to the airport. Sweet!! I thanked David and his friends for the help, I didn't have to pay them, but I do owe them a favor in the future. That should be fun, I have no clue what a bunch of gnomes are going to need me to do. Things are getting back to normal, I'm back under the bed and the kid has him room back. The only thing now is house breaking this dog. He sleeps in the kids room at night but when he has to go, he crawls his way into my place and starts whining. It's not a big deal, I'm a night creature anyway, so I take him out. It beats cleaning up after him. I'm here to tell you there is nothing more foul than dragging yourself your dog poo when you're sliding out from under the bed. Anyway, I'm gonna go relax and stretch out on my couch for a bit. I got some friends coming over tonight, its the first time in a couple of weeks since I've been back home.